Tuesday, February 24, 2015

I'm even more lost than I thought was possible

I really don't know what I want and that drives me absolutely crazy. I know what I don't want, but that doesn't help because I haven't quite narrowed it down to not wanting everything but one thing. Sometimes I wonder why I'm here and what I'm doing with my life, actually not sometimes; all the time. I often feel like it's the only thing I think about, what is my purpose in this world? I mean I know I'm here for some reason otherwise I wouldn't have been sent here by our Heavenly Father, so why can't I just figure it out? Do you ever just wish Heavenly Father would've told you exactly what you needed to do in this life? Maybe given you some sort of road map to your own life? But we have this dang thing called agency where we make our own decisions, I guess I should be thankful of being able to make my own choices and do my own thing. Honestly the only reason I'm staying in Utah is so that I don't have to go home. Yeah I love my family but, after being on my own for a while I don't think I can ever go back to living with my parents. So I'm just going with it, I'm just taking classes and making the best of it with no idea of what my future is supposed to be. Not having an idea on what I want to do or what my plan or path in life is makes me feel so stupid but, I guess I'll figure it out someday...