And I'm Home On A Whim

We waited super last minute to buy my plane ticket cause I was having troubles getting ahold of my manager at work. Well, let's just say I never did and my mom eventually just bought a ticket. I called and called, left messages for her to call me and then eventually called and told whoever was there that day to take me off the schedule for the time that I would be gone, which was going to be quite a long time (almost a full month); but who knows if they really did that or not. But I have been home for a little while now and I still have not heard from anybody from work so they either actually took me off the schedule or I'm fired and I just don't know it yet. That'll be a fun one to go figure out when I go back home, makes me quite nervous; what do you even say when this happens? I guess we'll find out when I go back!

I am so grateful to have you

With Thanksgiving being a few days ago it really hit me how much I miss being at home with my family and friends. It made me realize how grateful I am to have the family and the support that I do. So thankful to have such loving, caring and understanding parents, siblings and all the rest of my family. How great is it that I have such great relationships with so many people that are related to me? Who knew I would have so many people on my side, wanting me to succeed? I used to take the love from these people for granted, and I'm sure they noticed; but thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for always being there for me no matter what mistake I made. Thank you for being my family. I am so grateful to have each and every single one of you in my life.

Gawh...

My life is making me sick. It is having too many ups and downs. One minute I'm so ready to be here and do everything and be my own person and then the next I just wanna go home and cuddle up to my mommy and be a child again. I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I still don't know why I'm even here in Salt Lake. Both of these have been quite difficult for me, to be so unknown. I just want to know right now. I want God to call down to me and tell me the exact answers to my questions, but I guess that's not how he works...

Cast Member Status

Well I officially got my first job. I now work at the Disney Store at the City Creek Mall here in Salt Lake, which is only a few blocks from my house. (also right next to the temple). I've never had a job before so we'll see how this goes. I'm hoping good since I LOVE Disney!!! Wish me luck! :)

What am I doing?

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore with my life. After a few weeks of taking medical assisting courses I decided it wasn't for me, yet it's too late to change my major this semester. So I dropped a few classes, still taking one medical course and two other classes but now I'm considered only a half time student. I haven't decided what I want to do from here, I have until next semester class sign ups to figure out what kind of direction I want to go, but that's still coming up pretty fast. I can't believe I've been here for over a month now. I know I'm supposed to be here in Salt Lake City, but now I really don't know for what and God is not giving me an answer. But I know now that becoming a medical assistant is not what God has in store for me, I had felt that I wasn't in the right program and then God showed me for sure that I wasn't; so I know I'm still in the right path. But that doesn't mean it's any less hard to be here, going to this school, now for nothing. I don't know if I'm supposed to continue my education at LDSBC or go somewhere else, but God just keeps telling me to stay here when I pray to him, not telling me why. I guess I'll find out eventually...

I'm here for a reason

It's been a crazy almost month here in Salt Lake. There have been a lot of tears shed; happy ones, sad ones, and even angry ones. But I know that I'll get through because I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. After my first day of going to class, I knew. I knew that this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. I don't know if it's because of my career choice, or what but, I'm in the right spot. That feeling is great, knowing that I'm where I need to be. But it's also hard not knowing why it's the right place to be. My testimony has been greatly strengthened since I've been here and I haven't even been here that long, so maybe that's the reasoning, but only God really knows. My praying has been mostly me asking him why I'm here, what I'm doing, am I going in the right direction? But he tends to not answer those and just makes me feel him there. It's like he doesn't want me to know, and that frustrates me quite a bit. I know he's giving me room so that I can make my own decisions and have agency, but I want to know. I want to know now why I am here, I'm too impatient to not know!

Ready, set, go!

The car is full and I am fully packed for college. I can't believe this day has came so fast, I feel like I just started high school last year. I'm so excited but so afraid at the same time. I don't know how to feel really. What am I going to do? What am I going to say? What am I going to wear? All of those things ran through my head as we pulled out of the driveway to start our adventure to Utah. Should I be the person I was in Washington? Or should I change? What kind of changes do I need to make? And what kind of a person do I need to be to succeed? I didn't know these answers, that frustrated me. What was I to do? It's my first night in my apartment, my roommates are great girls. It seems like it's going to be a great time. But I can't help but wonder why I am here. Not why I'm on this earth, but why I am I going to LDSBC at this time in my life? Why am I living here of all the places? Why? Why? Why?

Gavin & Shelby

My summer has been fun filled with a lot of babysitting of Shelby and Gavin Brown. They are two of the best kiddos that I know. I am so thankful to have had the opportunity to spend so much time with them and to form relationships with them. They are beautiful children and will go far in life I just know it. We have done so many things together and they have given me some amazing life experience. I will miss both of these kiddos when I leave for sure!

Hawaii Trip 2014

For my graduation and my mother's retirement we decided to go on a fun trip. We decided to go to Hawaii, this had been the plan before I had even started high school. My sister, her husband, their two children and my best friend tagged along on our adventure to the islands. It was an amazing experience and I hope to be able to go again. The temple on Hawaii was so beautiful, and honestly one of the places that I have felt the spirit the most in my life. Everyone that ever goes to Hawaii needs to go visit the Laie Temple, they say Jesus visits there every day because of how spiritual it is there. While we were in Laie we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center which is ran by the church. It was so amazing to see all these different cultures and be able to see how they came about to living on Hawaii.

High School Graduation

This was a very emotional time for me, mostly good emotions but there were a few not so good ones. High school is over. That finally hit me as I was walking up to my principal at graduation to get my diploma cover. And then it was even more real when I received my actual diploma in the mail. This part of my life was over, there was no going back. My friends and I would go separate paths and some of us would never talk again, that made me crazy. I didn't want things to change. My life was great right where it was. Life needed to slow down! But then I came to realize, it won't ever slow down. Life will keep on going no matter how hard I try to make it stop. People will come in and out of my life and I would just have to deal with that one step at a time. Graduating from high school was just one step towards my future and I know it's going to be great.

College Ready

It's official, I am enrolled into my classes. They cancelled the Administrative Assistant Certificate program so I have to take a different path, but it's okay, we'll see how being a Medical Office Assistant will go.

Housing

Well, I signed the contract. I will be living in a place called Downtown Duplex in Salt Lake City, UT next fall. 354 North 200 West Salt Lake City, UT 84103 if anyone would like to know :). It's a fully furnished apartment, it's a 2 bedroom and will house 4 girls. It was hard to make a decision on where I wanted to live, but not only was this housing situation one of the cheapest ones; the owner worked with me for a while and was very nice about it.

It's so close, yet so far away!

Well, it's official I found out on March 4th that I got accepted to LDS Business College in Salt Lake City, Utah for Fall 2014. I'm excited for the new experience, but so afraid at the same time. I know this going to go well for me, it's going to be a challenge with money and being away from my family for the first time, but it will all work itself out; I just know it. High school graduation seems to be coming so fast, a lot of the seniors are getting a little too antsy to get out. Soon it will be time to send out announcements and that will be when it really becomes real for me. I'm graduating. For the first time in my life, I'm not going to be in my parents' control... that scares me a little bit! I've never had to make too many of my own decisions! Right now I've been looking at housing situations for when I go to LDSBC, I think we've finally figured out which one I want, time to make a decision myself. Money is going to be tight at college, but I just know it'll be okay. I have a feeling inside that this is where I need to go at this time in my life, who knows, maybe it'll be good for me! :)

Happy New Year - 2014

2014 is my year. This is the year I graduate from high school and go to Hawaii with my family to celebrate it. 2014 is the year I turn 18 and am no longer so dependent on my parents. And this is the year I go off to college, I plan on going to LDSBC (Latter Day Saint Business College) in Salt Lake City, Utah where I plan to get an Administrative Assistant Certificate. This is the year I move out of my house and live sort of on my own. This is the year I can finally just be me, without thinking of what everyone else wants me to be. For the new year I have made it a resolution to write on this blog what is going on in my life. I want to be in the habit of it so that when I do move away from home and go to college my parents and other family/friends are still updated on my life. This is my year and it's going to be whatever I make it out to be; hopefully it's a good one.